Learning about raising girls with The Parent Practice

At the beginning of the year I promised myself to transform the morning routine. I wanted to stop feeling stressed in the mornings and always leave the house early to give us enough time to ensure we could enjoy a leisurely stroll to school. This is not working particularly well, and when Big Girl and I came running towards the school this morning all the other parents were going in the opposite direction.

The morning madness is one of the reasons I couldn’t wait to get to my next stop–a Raising Girls: Power of Words workshop by The Parent Practice, which I had been invited to attend. I’ve reviewed a couple of parenting workshops by The Parent Practice and I always leave feeling armed with new skills, which I can put straight into practice. Today’s 2.5-hour workshop has given me a much better understanding of Big Girl and what to expect in the years to come.

The experienced parenting coach and mum Jenny, who taught the course, talked through the science and brain development, which I think is really helpful to know more about to be able to be empathetic and stay calm.

We learnt about how the limbic system of the brain is stronger than the prefrontal cortex, and this is useful to understand because it explains why children of different ages use hurtful words and say things they don’t mean.

It can be challenging to be an effective parent when a child starts shouting, and I think it helps to be reminded what is the best approach to take when someone is clearly feeling upset, but may express it in a funny way.

In the workshop, Jenny used a number of examples of what to say in different situations, and she also finished the session with role play, comparing an ineffective way to handle, for example, homework struggles and bad test results with a positive approach. I also really enjoyed the focus on apologising to children if something has been handled wrongly, and I’m sure there will be days where I’ll use the tip of preparing Big Girl if I’ve had too little sleep and may be grumpy although I don’t mean to.

At the workshop I had a chance to chat to another Parent Practice facilitator too, and I asked about what I could do to help us get out of the house in the morning. She suggested I sit down with Big Girl to create a list with her of what we need to do in the morning, such as getting dressed, brushing teeth, having breakfast and putting shoes and coat on.

The list will be mean Big Girl has had a say in what we do, and we can use it to refer back to, so I can ask things like: ‘How far have you gotten on your list?’ In addition, I was reminded to use short instructions like ‘shoe time’, which I learnt at the last workshop I reviewed.

I think we continue to face new challenges every day, and I really enjoy learning about positive parenting skills in a live environment in The Parent Practice workshops.

Going forward, I hope to be the one who’s waiting around in the school yard in the morning and not the one everyone sees zigzagging in between the morning crowds to get to school on time.

The Parent Practice runs regular workshops, and there are two other workshops coming up on raising girls. There’s one workshop on friendships on 5 May in Chelsea and one on perfectionism and self esteem in Barnes on 13 June

Tags: Barnes, Chelsea, Clapham, Parenting, Parenting course, The Parent Practice, Workshop