5 top parenting tips for second time mums and dads

One of my primary concerns when I was pregnant for the second time was how Baby Girl would feel about having a sibling. That’s why I was thrilled to receive advice from different experts, and I really liked the top parenting tips we received from Melissa Hood of The Parent Practice:

1. Give the first-born child(ren) lots of reassurance that they are still loved when a new baby arrives, and give them plenty of positive attention to avoid them ‘playing up’ to get the attention they need

2. Rather than trying to persuade older children that the arrival of a new sibling is great news, and how much they must love the baby, allow them to express their natural feelings of resentment and jealousy. When parents let children know that the feelings they are experiencing are ok (even if their actions are not) it’s safe for them to tell us about them. This helps them move away from negative behaviour: “The way you snatched that toy from Jamie shows me you’re feeling jealous. He has so many new things and gets so much attention. Perhaps you are feeling left out.”

3. Remember it’s not unusual for children to revert to babyish behaviours when a new baby arrives. Empathise when your child who is perfectly able to walk wants to be carried: “You wish Mummy would carry you too, don’t you? I guess you’d like to be a baby again and get all the attention that Harry is getting. I think I’d like to notice the big girl things you can do and write those down so daddy can see them too.”

4. Give your older child lots of attention for positive things, and ensure you notice and comment on good behaviour: “It’s been lovely knowing you have been playing here safely and quietly while I changed Tommy upstairs. I really appreciate it.”

5. Set aside five to 10 minutes of regular and predictable special time for the first-born child (or each older child) when they know they will have your undivided attention. Exclusive time will help reduce feelings of resentment towards the new baby, who takes up quite considerable parental time!

Siblings is one of the topics covered in the 10-week positive parenting course by The Parent Practice. The Parent Practice now also offers an online parenting course, and as Mummy in the City is an affiliate member of The Parent Practice, readers can click HERE for a 20% discount

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